Why Rock Climbing is like Dragonball Z

Here you are. Little old level 1 normal Goku. If you've never seen the show before, Goku is like the Chris Sharma of intergalactic super-being combat. Just as a disclaimer - I'm not some super fan or anything.. I've only seen few episodes, but i've always thought the concept was interesting. Flying aliens that can control energy with their bare hands? Comon you know you thought it was cool when you were 12. Too bad it was ruined with too much anime weirdness. Anyway, here you are, you just got to your project. It looks like you're in South Africa or somethin.. Threw the crash pads down, maybe your hair is all crazy cause you just took your hat off. You start eyein up your proj and grimace a little bit because you know it's going to be hard.



After a couple failed attempts, you start to get a little fired up. You realize you need to bring on the power to get this sucker done. Time to go Super Saiyan.

Super Saiyan 1

Super Saiyan 2! Not much different than 1...

You make it further up the problem this time, but it's still not enough! Uh oh, you might not do this thing today.. It's now or never, you think, and you start to get pissed. Time to take the shirt off and get mean. Super Saiyan 2 is the next level of try hard. This is as far as most climbers can go and it's plenty of power to get some things done.














Once again you start off on your project. Every move is flowing, your feet are precise, and you feel strong. This could be the time! You get through the crux! Only a few more easy moves guard the top, but you've never done them before... Oh no!! You miss a hold and fall hard. This is when the F-bombs start comin out and you instantly transform into Super Saiyan 3!

SS3 - Hair grows and you get even more jacked.

ffFFUUUuuckkk!!!

At this level, you are filled with rage. Sometimes the anger can add the power needed to send, but not this time. You just fell off the crux again... If you are a weaker man, this is where you pack it up and move on. The anger has got the better of you, and you feel too spent to try anymore. However if you are able to overcome the anger and retain the power, you will transcend to Super Saiyan 4!

SS4 - You have summoned your spirit animal.. and you got a tail now!

Look at you now, strong yet focused and calm. Check out that barrier you just broke through! Confidence is high because you know you can do it. The climbing feels like a dream. Every move is effortless because you are 100% in the zone. You pass the crux without really even thinking about it and before you can realize what just happened you are topping out!

Check you out sport! You doin FA's on the mooooon! Now, once you've been to this level, you learn how to get there more quickly. The elite climbers today are in that zone 90% of the time. However just like Chris Sharma, Goku can't always defeat every enemy... 

Vegeta just went Super Saiyan 5! Apparently it's just SS4 with more anger.

Getting Mad at Mother Nature

Not too much going on for me the last few weeks. The weather in SWPA is shitty this time of year. Did you know that Pittsburgh has only 2 less days of rain per year then Seattle, WA? Those who know me well know that I'm not above getting mad at inanimate objects, and mother nature is no exception.. Bitch is pissin me off! Picking which day to go out climbing is a science. You gotta look at the 10 day everyday, because lord knows it changes quick. Monday Tuesday Wednesday snow and 25. Thursday and Friday have a high of 48 and sunny! But wait, how much did it snow?.. Because you can bet that if any remains on the rock, that everything will be wet. And don't bother going out on that crazy 60 degree day in January because the rock will be sweating more than a DPM hater talking to a girl.

Sometimes it's easy to predict when Coll's will be dry, but it's also easy to get blinded by the desire to climb. Even though I knew it wasn't going to be good today, I went out anyway. It snowed all weekend and today went all the way up to 48- what the fuck was I thinking! There is some things that always stay dry at Coll's, but my focus has been narrowed on a recent ex-project. The project formerly known at Little Black has falllen to our very own former pro Joel Brady! It stands to be one of the best lines at The Cove, and is the first established V11. Check out the vid below. The climb is now called Bhante Pema after a budhist monk, specifically after a certain someone's inflection when they talk about said monk. Correctly it's pronounced Ban-tey Pem-a, but it's more funny when said with a Pittsburgh accent. After working on the climb for only a few days, Joel made it look easy, but not without a heartbreaking fall off the very top! Apparently it's harder than it looks up there.

I've been trying Bhante from the stand when it was just a project; maybe 6 days over the last 2 year. Last spring it actually tweaked my left ring finger pully quite bad so I had to lay off. It was always envisioned to go from a lower start, but I didn't have the spark of possibility until Joel starting trying it. Since it's been established I've been trying it from the logical lower start, and I have made a ton of progress. I'm not gonna get all beta crazy on ya, but the crux is in the first few moves, and once you link into the stand it's v8/9. Last week I made it from the low start, through the stand, and fell at the last V7ish move to the good seam... PSYCHED! It is definitely going down. After Bhante, there is only 2 other established double digit climbs for me to second ascent - Mick Jagger by Rob D'anastasio and No Kill, No Thrill by Nathaniel Walker.

Here is the process at Coll's - We show bad ass people amazing projects because we're not strong enough to do them. They do them. We get really psyched and end up doing these climbs that we would have otherwise thought impossible. - This is why I don't get peoples' obsession with First Ascents.. I think most people have a misconception of first ascents, placing too much value on the glory.The "recognition" is not important, the satisfaction lies in the creation of a new line. IMO, it doesn't matter who did it first, but that it was done. I don't care if i'm first, second, or 100th, all I care is that the climb exists and I just climbed it. I would never keep my projects a secret, climbers who do that are too worried about the glory and most likely ego crazy. If done with the right motivation, a first ascent can give you the same feeling as donating to a charity. It's a way of giving back to the climbing community through growth. I have done the first or second ascent of just about every hard climb at Coll's Cove, but I don't want you to remember my name. All I want for you to remember is the climbs. I can understand placing more value on who when you're talking about climbs on the cutting edge of difficulty, but when you're doing FAs of moderates all that matters is what... 

...because lets face it, who gives a shit.



Colls Cove: the next Coopers Rock from Crazy Ape Productions on Vimeo.

Yea I said it.. Coll's is the next Coopers. Just go there if you don't believe me!